Restless

I know I'm not the best living creature in earth, and I know I'm not that a-good-person either. I made mistakes, often lies, sometimes being fake, many chances talking harsh... But one thing I kept trying to do is somehow reaching this "being a true me" state. More than anything I've always wanted to be, solely, completely, my very own self. More than anything. And I didn't say that I haven't met my true-self right now... I'm living this life as me and have found that it's the only thing I can do the best, by being myself not others. But there is this time, or condition, where I can't simply be myself because I'm afraid to lose somebody. I'm afraid if I keep saying too much or I keep doing what I like, this bond between us will be no longer growing as strong as before. Or as "seen" before. What could I do if the options were either losing somebody or losing myself, while by losing them I feel like losing the whole brittle soul inside me? And it's not like I didn't pass the thoughtful days without tears or silent weep on my bed alone. I had hard times lately to face the dilemma. And I just feel like writing down about it here... I'm in disguise, but surely I will slowly decide to stay doing what I want and following what my inner heart's say. It's all for good reasons anyway... Lucky people out there who always know what to do. But beautiful life I have here to feel the equal amount of sadness and happiness so that I can appreciate both sides of this bittersweet life...

Well, I think I need another reads and a cup of tea for my weekend treats. It's been quite a restless days I had... I hope yours are way better. :)

We're All Loners

 photography Lambok Sinaga | central park jakarta

outfit

Room 707 floral tapestry dress / The Little Things She Needs purse / Pull & Bear leather flats

We are all loners in some way. Either traveling alone, reading alone, studying alone, living alone, crying alone. Even we're born alone to the world. But into different extent, the state of being alone doesn't always mean to be lonely. There are people around who care about us even when we don't do justice to them, there are always people we ignore or less seriously taken. And so to see lonesome as our ever-present companion, we might stop moaning about how lonely we are and how sucks loneliness are - just to realize that loneliness is everyone's shared emotions. And when it happens to every person, it likely be adaptable. I'm all to lonesome, it's part of me, and I love having lonely times once in a while to feel its serenity. Let's embrace this... And start creating a solitude soul instead. Do you still feeling that lonely anymore now?

"Language... has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone.  And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone." 

- Paul Johannes Tillich, The Eternal Now

Remedies

photography Lambok Sinaga

Had spent this weekend in Jakarta for Diana's wedding and meeting some good friends. Slept-over at Marcela Caroline's and met my Michelle Hendra by the next day. I love my girls and the bond that arise naturally between us since the first time... And to know what blogging is actually meant : making friendship. I only knew them from blogs and by the first time we met, everything just fits in and went honestly fun. Thank you for the beautiful stories and bittersweet silence, Molin, and thank you for the witty talks again, Michelle. Also thank you for the last wedding night bliss Sonia, Ario, Cindy and Sabila. Friends are the best remedy ever :)

Fashionistas Party Fever! (A Giveaway)

outift

Fashionistas MAISIE skirt-dress / Vintage purse / Decimal red-velvet wegdes / Chain Reaction necklace 

I'm quite a geek - I don't go to parties a lot so when I had to come for one, it took me hours in disguise to solve this what-to-wear kind of question. All I know is I tend to dress up in a simple way... But when it's a energetic club-alike where you have to go to, you can't always push yourself to wear a child-like dress that slightly looked like a night gown - even if you love it as much or you really don't care (it happened a lot in my life, trust me). When I wanted to have some quality fun time with my best friends, I need a little wild touch - just a small one. So I knew I'd be on a red lips. And some golds in my head (I love golden bows!!). But when it come to the dress... remembering how I wasn't always on a creative mood for pairing items... I simply wear my maxi skirt up above the chest. I turned it into dress and it's soooooo easy! Boo. Hail tardy moment. Thank you versatile skirt.

And guess what - I've got a new necklace. A hippie-styled Chain Reaction! I love its feathers, and the way it gave a playful sense on my outfit. I might not that into the Breaking Dawn mood a lot but remember the charm that Bella got from Jacob? There's something on my necklace that reminds me of that charm. Like seriously. That's kind of lovely (you might say I'm making a stupid sense but well, why can't we enjoy being superficial sometimes).

 photography larasati handriatmadja

Forgive my party pics frenzy. And the not-so-adorable dressing room. I tried to get some images of me before leaving so I'd be pretty much sober (haha), but I think I was drunk already when I saw in some images there were eyeliner marks on my eyelid. Well.

On a brighter side here, let's thanks God for Fashionistas, because it made my silly party-story won't be the only thing you find here. There's something really good awating behind. Yes, now, let me present to you :

 THE FASHIONISTAS GIVEAWAY!

It worth IDR 300.000 SHOPPING VOUCHER to be spend on their webstore.

As you might knew already, Fashionistas is one of the emerging Indonesian online store that provides great boutique-quality clothes and accessories. You've seen it everywhere - on bloggers site, on television drama, on celebrities twitter pictures. I also have some of their items and wore them in several different ways. You wanted my peach palazzo pants? My verstile navy blue skirt (or dress, as seen in this post)? Now you have a good chance to shop their next collection for free!

How to join:

1. You must be the follower of my blog, and follower of Fashionistas's Twitter. 

2. Open Fashionistas webstore and register as their member.

3. Go back to this post and leave a comment answering this question : "What is your wishlist for Fashionistas next collection?"

Example of entry : Clara (@claradevi), following via Google Friend Connect. I wanted to see more floral dresses and bright-colored bottoms! Espesially summer dress, and also mini skirts. It's almost new year so I want to prepare a fancy outfit for my holiday.

That's all it takes! Join here and let's spread the love - Fashionistas will pick one lucky winner based on the impression they make (good/funny/interesting answers, awesome additional post/tweets, etc). The contest will last for a week, and the winner will be announced on the first day of December! This is OPEN for international readers. Goodluck! <3 

Auburn and Ginger Giveaway Winner

The winner of Auburn and Ginger giveaway is @junettaairene! Congratulations for you, such a lucky one to be chosen by Random.org :) You will be emailed to claim the prize. For others who have joined and not winning yet, maybe you can try to join the next giveaway with Fashionistas! Thank you so much for your entries!

Tutorial : Heidi (Milkmaid) Braids

Hi again sunshine! As promised I will show you the easy way of making Heidi braids (or also known as the milkmaid braids as well) just like I did for this post. It's a versatile style to try for daily need, party, and even school days! Let's start with preparing three (3) tools that you will need, as in this picture below :

(As you see I'm using black hairbands and bobby pins to suit my brown hair - just try to find the matching color because those two are not supposed to be clearly shown beneath the plaits!)

1. First step, lay down your hair and to make two parts of it. It will be better to make the parts as even as possible, so you can get similar plaits later (that won't be neat to have one side become very thin while the other is too thick!). After you divide the hair into two sides, keep them separated.

2. Brush each side of the hair to make it smooth because we're going to start making the braids now. After they sorted neatly, grab your first side and begin braiding! I try to make the braids come as neat as possible because I don't have a long hair and some of my shorter hair is just sticking out everywhere!

3. Okay so I braid as down as I could, until the end of my hair length. You could go more than mine if possible (I can't because my hair length isn't equal at the edge), especially if you don't have a very long hair. We need the braids to be long enough because.... (jump to the next step)

4. ...because we're gonna lay down the braids across the head! Like creating a bandana from your own hair. Bring one part into the upper side of your hair tightly, and slip on some bobby pins to keep it in shape. Do the same thing to the other side, bring it to place in front of the previous one. I usually use 3-4 bobby pins for each side, but you can add more to secure the braids better!

5. If on the above picture you could see my hairband shown, that's because I haven't tuck the end of the plaid to cover each other. Now let's do so until they'll become invisible. Try to put the end of your plaids under one another, and secure it with pins so your braids will looked tidy and sweet!

photography and editing myself

Enjoy your Heidi-braids! I believe it won't be hard to make and if there's anyone who try the tutorial in a post, leave me the link so I could check them out :) Ah I really have to get some sleep now. Goodnight!

And This Evening I Have A Dream

photography larasati handriatmadja editing myself

outfit

Dream Shop vintage-inspired tea dress / Off-white Chrysalis pumps / Vintage purse from my nana

This is what I wore today - for a little dinner outside the house. Something simple and sweet, with a beautiful 60s-inspired dress from Dream Shop. I love the color and all of its little floral prints, a very feminine look in a simple way (I like when my outfit seemed modest - with a taste). The reason why I choose to style myself this way are : a) I'm not good at layering, and b) my mom always said that pretty dress already speak of its own majesty without needing too much efforts from the person. So being a total opportunist I also decide to pick an easy series of accessories that has similar tones - in pale off-white shades - from the necklace, goes to the belt, and ended with a purse. My very precious find while wandering around my grandmother's closet! It was from the 1950s when my grandma was on her early teenage spirit ("We used to bring such purse everywhere, even for the disco!" - she said). Everything seems perfectly romantic back then on my grandmother's terms. I've told you I should've born 47 years ago!

P.S.: There are still some days left for joining the Auburn and Ginger giveaway here! And for the braids, I'll post the tutorial tomorrow. See you soon! :)

Call Me Rose

artwork Dinda Puspita Sari

The world is tremendously sweet. I woke up this morning, felt totally down to be failed in accomplishing an urgent paperwork - and got to skip my morning class because of that. It sort of making me sad and guilty for the half of my day... But then by the mid-day, my bestfriend Anglaina picked me up and accompanied me to finish one big assignment that I've long postponed. And I did it! I managed to finish the report and totally relieved for doing so. The soul slowly senses a better mood. Then, after lunch I read a mention from a good friend in Twitter saying that she made an illustration of me - I was like opening the link in a jiffy and instantly in love with her sketch! I don't know why but the way she put everything together - the lace and the flower papers - is just brilliant. And undoubtedly valuable. Thank you so much, Dinda, for brightening my blue Monday! It's people like her who made me keep my chin up and stand back straight no matter what had stroke me down in this little bitter world I'm living. Turn out that life is always fair and never let your good intention waste in vain! xx

All We Need Is A Little Comfort

outfit

vintage lace top / fashionistas SARA pants / decimal batik-printed platform shoes

If there's a line that often comes from my mouth, or written on my words, it must be "I wanna be a hippie". Despite of all the chic boho inspirations, tempting caravan  decorations, obedient hairstyles, weird tree-hugging stereotypes... All I really adore from them is the freedom they seemingly got in their life. Recently I have been much alienated myself in a world where there were just me, some books and a computer screen. The academic burden I've got to finished made me so, and the more I'm tired the more I drown myself in this hippie-alike wishes. Doesn't it feel good to live in woods where nobody else around but you and your loved ones, nobody care to judge what you do and what you choose? Society can be damn exhausting sometimes. But I'm still a part of it and the nearest runaway plan to get the hippie life is... by pretending. 

The Silence Could Say A Lot